I'm going to despond now.

Today is the first day of school.  Grant is now in 2nd Grade, and Abbie is in 1st grade.  I will spare you the details.  Other people's charming toddlers and babies are sometimes worthy of interest, but no one wants to hear about my schoolchildren except me.  I get it.

I am having a rough day.  Don't roll your eyes!  It has very little to do with the empty nest-ness.  Yes, I miss the kids, but that was to be expected and I'm not worried about them or anything, so it's no big deal.  However, Grant waited until this morning to tell me that his shoe is broken.  The rushing out and buying shoes thing will have to wait until tomorrow.  Then, I realized that no one gave me my official paper to pick up the kids tonight, so I had to run to the office in my grungy Dropping Off The Kids, No One Will See Me uniform.  I hadn't been home long when Josh called.  Was he calling to see how the kids did this morning?  No.  Ask me how I was holding up?  No.  He was calling to say that they were all going to stay another night, and to ASK IF THAT WAS OKAY. 

***

Sorry.  I'm back.  I had to go storm around and swear for a second.  To continue:  If you know you have already asked too much of someone and are about to do it again, do us all a favor - do not put it in the form of a question.  "This is what needs to be done, I'm so sorry that it is a pain," is so much better than, "Is this okay?" because the answer is no.  It's not okay.  You knew it was not okay.  I am not going to now pretend that it is.  I'm not going to give you permission to do something that you wouldn't forgo if I didn't give it.  DO NOT try to make it look like I have a say in the matter.

Now The First Day of School is no longer a fun holiday.  I can't even bring myself up enough to continue the delusion.  Who cares?  It's a day.  They are all just days.  I don't know why I bother, really.  Things are only important because you want them to be, and if you have to work this hard, and still it's not important to anyone except yourself...

Nevermind.

Still no sub. certificate.  No plans to move (a good thing, since we can't actually afford a new house).  No progress anywhere.  And now I have to tell the kids that their daddy won't be home tonight like he promised.

I watched a French movie.  It's called The Closet.  Pretty cute.  I like Michelle LaRoche.  Her part wasn't huge, though.  And it starred Daniel Auteil and Gerard Depardieu, which is amusing to anyone who has ever seen Jean de Florette, as they were both in that as well.

I'm making fancy new food for our fancy celebratory dinner tonight.  Not that I have an appetite anymore.  But I will do my best to be cheerful in front of the only two people who really give a shit if I live or die.