HA HA!

Made ya look.

Feeling impish today. Must be this beautiful weather.

Triedness and Excessive Direction

Me: Oh, goodness, look at the time. Well, that's all for this session. It's been fun. See you next month!! Buh-bye, now!

Insomnia: Nice try. Who do you think you're kidding? Now get in bed and stare at the ceiling.

Me: You're not the boss of me! I am putting on a movie. So THERE!

Insomnia: Getting out the quiet, boring stock, eh? Well, we shall see who prevails.

Me: Do your worst!

Remind me never to say, "Do your worst!" to my imaginary personified insomnia again, would you please?"

Tonight is taiko. Grrr-yawn. Well, I'll do my best.

Speaking of taiko, I should just like to take this opportunity to state that if someone sends a document, etc. for us to read, it is not necessary for another person to then email us, advising us to read the document, etc. Not at all, in fact. Got it. In fact - if I may be so bold - it may not even be necessary to tell us to sign up for performances after the individual responsible for scheduling performances has just asked for more people to sign up. Just saying.

I've been trying to copy some pictures to add to the web site, but they need to be converted, and apparently I've been taking the LONG way to get there. Josh is going to teach me a shorter way. Well, maybe.

K. That's all the news. Have a good day. Isnt' this sunshine nice?

Yeah....

So much to say. Although nothing important, I guess.

This morning I did my hair. I was going for, "Look! My hair is submissive. I am totally in charge of this operation." I think I ended up with my usual Medusa impersonation, with a little added lift in the back. At least I didn't try, in this humidity, to straighten it. That's a losing battle if ever I heard of one.

I wore knee socks to Easter. I was that middle aged woman with knee socks on. Well, it's not like they're going to be impressed no matter what I wear. Might as well amuse myself.

Easter.....was a lot like Christmas was. They were still getting ready when we got there. We helped with the cooking. Josh had to leave the second he was done eating. The kids had a good time playing with their cousins.

You know, I have no wealth of knowledge. I don't. I know the person who thanked me so sweetly for great information will never read this, but here is what I won't say to her, but should: "Please don't be confused into thinking that I somehow have unique experience of noteworthy intuition or valuable knowledge. I do want to help, but it really isn't worth being impressed. I am only saying what any other person would have said, if you were to have asked him/her instead." Or maybe I'm good at saying it clearly. I would like to think that, but I don't really believe it. My goal is clarity, but I think I only achieve Babble. I wish I was knowledgeable, though. I love knowing trivia, when I do. It is a rare moment. Once, I helped win a game of Trivial Pursuit by gaining the winning pie piece? The only reason was that there was a word in the question that no one else could understand, because it was archaic. So, I guess....I am medium good at words. Just like my degree says: I Can Read.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I'm having a hard time getting ready for next week. Did you know that it is National Karaoke Week? Chances of my going out are non-existent, though. So, you will all have to go out and sing something in my place. Something....not typical. Something with style. Something without shame. And then, you can tell me all about it.

I need to finish deciding what pictures to put in my latest gallery for the taiko web site, and get that moving. I'm also behind on a few RSVPs. I've got to decline a shower, accept the reunion (I just don't know if I'll be going alone or with Josh), decline the Communion party....

Josh is starting to think again that there is a schedule change on the horizon. I'm mildly interested, but these kids have cried wolf a fair few times, ya know?

I don't know. I can't picture the future, the way I could before. Now it just seems a long list of wishes, and no way to make them come true. Remember when I was going to be the superhero and save everyone from this mess? I'm not sure I'm the girl for the job.

Our grass is shamefully long and scraggly.

Josh just emailed me his latest paper to proofread. Guess I'll go.

I'm not depressed, I promise. Just tired. Long day. Mommies are what make holidays, so they wear us out a little.

Goodnight.

Not Tornadoed

I just dusted and vacuumed. Dinner was nothing exciting, but for lunch we had breaded shrimp, cheesy rice and grapes and strawberries. I may not have showered today, but I still managed to cling to productivity by the skin of my teeth.

We've been having some serious weather this week. Thunderstorms, rain, lightening, soft ball sized hail, tornadoes. Perhaps you heard of the one that took out Concourse C at the airport. We missed the major excitement. The soft ball hail was a few miles from us. Well, at Wal-mart. That might be about a mile. We only had a very few of the smaller variety. We were hiding in the basement. There used to be a tv down there, but apparently it is broken. No movie for us! And Josh's work of course is right by the airport, but there were no damages where he was. However, being an emergency dispatcher, you can imagine that he was having quite an evening even without having been tornadoed. He even had to find a new way home because of road closings! I think all my other friends in the St. Louis area are unharmed as well, but I haven't heard from everyone just yet.

Yesterday our neighbors came over to visit. Twice. And the kids stayed up so, so, so late. The neighbors left at 10:30! And then the kids wouldn't wind down. Tonight I insist on an early bed time. And for my sake, too. I stayed up to make sure Josh got in, and he was later than usual, what with the traffic delays.

The last week has been rough. We colored eggs with Josh's mom when Grant's t-ball was rained out, but otherwise we stayed in, mostly. Then, on Good Friday, me and the kids went to CostCo. First, we stopped at the mall to visit RealiTea. Kat was actually working!!! So, we said hi, and bought a bubble tea and some gummies. Then, I let the kids play at the "play place" until I saw Grant push Abbie, and then we went to CostCo for Kleenex and strawberries and mac&cheese shells and such. I've never gone to CostCo without Josh before. Guess what I found out? You may not use the credit function of your debit card there. And I don't know my PIN! So, quick thinker that I am, I called my bank lickety split and got a new PIN. So there. And now I know it. Go ahead - ask me! Oh. ...nevermind.

Josh got a hold of a Rosetta Stone program. I told the kids it was a video game, and they've been learning French. I have been doing French AND Japanese, but I already knew some French, and slow going with the Japanese. I'm going to copy the Japanese part for Jenn. (Translation: I'm going to make Josh do it.) In fact, maybe after she puts it on her computer, we can pass it around! Is that unethical? I hope not. It isn't as if we were going to all go out and purchase separate copies if we couldn't have this one. Well, if it turns out unethical, you are all invited to come over to my house and learn Japanese or French from my copy.

My mom is already sending me job listings. It begins. :(

Jobs are a big topic in my family. Josh is kind of looking on the side, my dad is taking a vacation, and then will be actively seeking full time employment, and so will my mom....and so will I....and my brother is already. We should totally have an unemployment party.

I finally got someone to watch the kids during the taiko performance on Friday. I hope she was paying attention to the part where I will be leaving BEFORE 5. That is the only thing that makes me super nervous. And I'm feeling a tad guilty about the amount of practice I will have had, but since it is officially the required amount, maybe I should chill out.

Well, I hope Michelle gets the job she's been interviewing for, and if any of you are going through that as well, GOOD LUCK! I hope you were not tornadoed! Stay safe, and be careful - more storms to come.

Monday sort of Monday

Mrs. Warren's Profession was not a comedy. As a sentimental, loyal, and most of all feeling person, I wish I hadn't read it. Too many varieties of heartbreak for me to take, especially right before bed. I don't believe in spoilers, but with a title like that, it leaves not much to the imagination. Mrs. Warren, of course, is a Madam. The play is about the circumstances surrounding her adult daughter's discovery of such, and reaction, etc.

Rolla was pleasant, and we were able to keep my dad from burning down the house in his boredom. He is not the world's best patient, and has a foot injury. We kept him busy playing songs on his guitar, listening to the kids explain all about their most recent toys*, making Captain Hook hooks out of old plastic hangers, and the like.

*15 dollars? Such a huge sum! The most I've ever been able to give them is maybe 15 between the two of them, and that was for necessaries, like new socks!

On the way home, I was flirting with disaster. Through no fault of my own, the fates were out to get me, and they nearly succeeded! On I-44, I was driving along at the speed limit (70), when a big, yellow dog, leisurely walked into my lane. I changed lanes, of course, and I hope the guy in that lane will excuse me for being closer than is comfortable for some people. I looked in my rear-view to see if the dog made it to safety, and what do you think I saw? As the dog strolled across the highway, a car from the westbound lane drove wildly off the road, through the wire median, down the ditch and up again, across the eastbound lane and into the opposite ditch. If I hadn't been able to avoid the dog, I would have been right in his path - with both my children, and both my dogs. It all happened in a flash - it took less than 2 seconds for me to watch the other car make the afore mentioned progress, but I can tell you I am still creeped out by it! It really made my blood chill in my veins. For the rest of the drive, I was especially vigilant.

Today we got the official news that the car has been declared a total loss. So, now we have to get another one. More on that later.

I had a good idea for a story today, and even got to a piece of paper, but the phone rang before I could even get a word down.

We've been watching Cirque du Soleil. My mom has 2 DVDs of it, and made us a copy of Dralion, since we didn't get to finish it before we left. It is very, very amazing.

Josh's mom can't watch the kids on Thursday, so I'm looking for someone else to, unless I find out that I don't really have to be at practice. So far, no takers. I'm also trying to find a minute to take our friend Jennie to Costco, since there is something there she wants at her Easter dinner and I have a membership. I like to help. Have you thought about my schedule, though? Monday - dance class. Tuesday - taiko. Wednesday - T-ball. Thursday - taiko. Friday - Woot! An actual free day...if you don't count that Josh is at work and whatever "free" activity I schedule has to accommodate the kids. Saturday - nothing so far (except Josh working again), but probably going to be soccer practice. Sunday - taiko. So, if I have to stay with the kids Thursday anyway, we can all go to Costco. Otherwise, it would have to be Friday.

And people occasionally ask me how Josh is. Wanna know? I DON'T KNOW! I haven't had a real conversation with the guy in a month. When he's home, he's generally doing homework or sleeping. Mostly, though, he's not home.

Monday nights always make me feel like a weed in the garden of life. It's all those other moms. No matter whether they're the ones who work blue collar jobs, smoke like chimneys and talk too loud or the ones with dark artificial tans and dubious hair color, monogrammed jackets for their daughters to fit into for approximately 3 months and smart phones constantly informing them that one of their extensive acquaintance has texted them, they all seem to have another person to identify with. And then there's me. Each type will occasionally make polite conversation, but I can feel my Outsiderness. I don't necessarily need anyone to chat with, or be friends with, or keep me company, I just don't like that look that comes into their eyes when they talk to me. It emanates doubt and unwillingness and distaste and ridicule and censure and....whatever you call it when a large dog isn't sure whether to sniff the little shampooed Maltese. You know: "What are you?"

K. Got that off my chest.

And now. I'm tired. It's been a long month.

Goodnight.

Friday, and all that implies.

First, the Grant and Abbie section:

This morning Abbie came up to me and said, "I'm sorry that Japan got the....got broke, Mommy. I'm sorry." As if she were somehow the responsible party.

And here is Grant's writing assignment this week: "Im to smart to be in kentgarten so I think I shood skip kentgarten and go to frst grade."

In other news, I'm sending lots of love to the Duff family. So sorry about Mimi Duff. I saw the picture, and she reminds me a lot of the neighbors I was writing last week (which mysteriously disappeared from the computer desktop and will have to be written again).

We just got our call from USAA. The car very likely will be totalled. It's current condition is what is known as "Borderline Total Loss".

Me and the kids and the dogs and the dog medicine are going to Rolla tonight when Grant comes home. We'll have to take a small detour in Marthasville due to road construction.

I started reading Plays by George Bernard Shaw. Right now I'm still at the beginning of Mrs. Warren's profession.

I also need to meet up with Miss Heather today, if I can. In fact, I'd better go shower and such! And switch laundry! I have no time to be sitting here! Eeek!

Well, for those of you who are able, please enjoy the weekend. I hope that is most of you. Off I go to prepare for a weekend away from home.

In Short

*Verdict of Jake's vet appointment yesterday: He has 2 varieties of infection in the ear we were not treating. In a minute I am going to wrestle him to the ground and clean both his ears out with this fancy (that translates into $$) ear cleaner they had me buy. He is also taking pills once a day.

*No verdict on car, just yet.

*Grant had his first T-ball practice, and had fun. Abbie spent the entire time playing in the dirt. We got home late-ish, in terms of bedtime, but there was no way I was skipping baths!

*My ears are funny again. Swimmy.

*Why are all taiko performances on Fridays this season? GAH!

*I will be babysitting my parents' dogs for the month of May, and won't be straying too far from home. Four dogs. That's a lot of yard cleaning, too.

*My dad injured his foot on Tuesday, but is okay.

*Rapidly running out of spare time, but not out of dirty laundry. Boo.

Hope you are having a good Friday Eve!

Not Frantic...(per se)

K. Most of you have already heard, but Josh wrecked the car the other night. His car. The 2008. It was stormy, and he thought that 20 miles under the speed limit was enough. And it was, until the giant puddle, followed by hydroplaning, spinning, and hitting the concrete median. Josh is unharmed. Car...well, the car is going to be evaluated by the insurance company. In the meantime, we have the new car, and are borrowing the giant blue truck from Josh's dad.

Josh is currently at a doctor's appointment. Flight physical-type stuff.

I am about to take a shower, then wait for Grant, then meet Michelle (and possibly Josh) at Denny's and go to taiko. There had better be some TAIKOING involved for me today. Really. I'd accept some drills. Especially the physical ones.

I spent the morning taking What Job Is Right For You quizzes. Funnily, while the political alignment crews can't figure me out at all, all the job quizzes have been similar: You're main qualities are planning and helpfulness. You should be an Editor, University Administration, Teacher, Writer, PR, HR, Paralegal, Recruiter, etc. I don't know why I found that so depressing today, but I did.

And I was trying to research resumes and what they are these days, and that was even less fun. In fact...I don't want to talk about it.

I've had too much sugar lately, I think. Brother brought a bunch of snack food. I'm pretty reasonable about healthy diets in the way that if something is really not that good for you...then I usually don't buy it. If it finds its way into my kitchen, however, I'm almost as bad as the dog.

Oink.

How am I going to convince someone to give me a job worth having? How am I going to fit all the things that are going on into limited time? How am I going to handle it if we need a new car?

What is going to happen? I don't know. And it stresses me out.

What Just Happened?

Since my last post, it has occurred to me that writers of political quizzes are very likely to be unclear on purpose, in order to encourage a particular response (from those people who don't over-read like I do) and use the answers in their "polling" data. So, does that make me naive for not realizing it at once, or jaded and sage for realizing it eventually?

My brother left this morning. I have to say, this weekend was not exactly the way I envisioned it in my mind.

Brother arrived on Friday. I was, for some reason, stubbornly against housecleaning, but managed to scrub some particularly unsightly pieces of wall (with not much improvement, sadly), sweep the kitchen with more than usual attention to detail, vacuum, dust (obviously, that was BEFORE I did the floors), clean the bathrooms and I also snuck out to the car while I had cleaning supplies in my hands and scrubbed the doggy nose prints off the back window. They were bothering me. Then, I nearly called a divorce lawyer when I saw how Josh had left the basement, so me and Abbie attempted to make that less junkyard-like. The sad part was that it only made the uncleaned carpet more noticeable, but there is no way that I can get the vacuum down the stairs, so I had to let it be. It sounds like a lot, but it was only the tip of the iceberg of what needed to be done. I really don't know what was wrong with me.

We had planned a Bad Movie Night. To save some suspense, I will tell you that it didn't happen. Brother had a short list of movies that he wanted for "next time", but with only a week's notice, I wasn't able to get them from Netflix. I had a huge list of truly awful movies, thanks to my awesome friends, and as soon as I could get Brother to commit to the plan, I dashed off a quick invitation to everyone I could think of who could make it over in time, and we went to my local movie rental store, armed with the list. Now, including Brother's, there were about a dozen titles to hunt down. Of those 12, my local movie dive had zero. Home again, home again, jiggety jig.

I cancelled Bad Movie Night, or at least the part that included invitations. Instead, we watched Wasabi. Almost bad enough to be on the list, in fact. So funny. And we ate Milk Duds. Well, I did, anyway. And guess what!? I have a huge cavity. I have put aside some money for Grant's teeth...I can't decide if it would be wrong of me to use it for myself.

About this time, I discovered that Josh was being made to work overtime on Sunday, as well. SUNDAY? Yes. No taiko for me. I'm getting a little sick of this. Is it really normal for a company to assign SO MUCH forced overtime? I never hear about my friends having this much, or having husbands/wives who are asked to work this much overtime.

On Saturday I got a phone call before Brother was out of bed. It was my dad, who gave me some strange and vague plans concerning his intention to come over. Josh left to go fly, and then Dad showed up.

I might have forgotten to mention that I babysat my in-laws' dog this weekend. He's a little white thing, some fancy cross, and his name is DaVinci, but he answers to Vinny.

So, Dad shows up, and there is dog pandemonium. And kid pandemonium. In short - pandemonium. He arrived at noon. The tentative plan was to go to the botanical gardens or the zoo. I live an hour from either, and it was rapidly approaching the hottest part of an unseasonably hot day. And no one had decided on the destination. Finally, I got them to pick the zoo, and packed a bag of water, snacks, sunglasses for me and the kids, camera, phone/wallet stuff, keys and chapstick. Then I ushered everyone into my car and we set off - it was around 1:10, I think. Then...Brother declared that he was hungry. Pit stop in Wentzville!

We ate lunch at Culvers, and then went on to the zoo. Well, almost. You see, at 2:45 on a nice, sunny Saturday in spring there were a few other people in Forrest Park. In fact, there was not a spot to be had. We drove for around 15 minutes, and I finally parallel parked somewhere I could not point to on a map. I do know that we walked up several hills before we were within view of the zoo's outer gates. Abbie griped and got carried. No one offered to carry me. No one even offered to carry the bag with all the waters. Once outside the zoo, we discovered that we were pretty much at the absolute furthest point from any entrance. We ended up going into the North entrance. The first thing Dad did was buy some waters. So I carried all the ones from my house for pretty much no reason. Then we attempted to see the zoo. It was hot. Most animals weren't having any of it. We did see the tiger, some orangutans, a gorilla, two zebras, and in the antelope house we saw the okapi and the giraffes, kangaroo, some deer things. We were going to see the penguins on the way out, but it was after 5 by then, and the zoo was closing. And I was now in possession of a sunburned nose. The moral of this story is: If you want to see the zoo, go in the morning. The other moral of this story: Don't forget the sunscreen.

We were hot and tired and wanted to go home. But Brother hinted that he wanted to go to Olive Garden. Well, we do always go when he is in town. I was too hot to be hungry, but drove us there, anyway. We did have a very good waiter. The food was great, of course. It was 8:15 when we got back to my house, and of course Dad had to leave right away. It's a 2 hour drive to Rolla, you know.

I sent my leftovers with Josh today.

I tried to get Brother to stay until Wednesday. Then I tried to get him to stay until tomorrow. Didn't work. He left right after Josh this morning. Right about 10, I would say.

I've been headachey. I don't know what is causing it. Maybe my grass allergy is developing a new symptom? I remember headaches last year, too. I wonder if it was the same part of the season...

I've been thinking about my future job a lot. I really have no idea how to get anyone's attention.

Today was hot and languid and unproductive. I read a little, played a little with the kids and made chicken fries for dinner. Have you had those? They are fry-sized breaded chicken. I like the idea, but they are seasoned like seasoned fries, which I never order and no not like. So I had corn and peaches for dinner.

Now, the kids are playing in the back yard. I'll probably bathe them and have an early bedtime. I could use one of those, myself.

I wonder how you all are doing. We should go and do something fun. I want to go and do something fun, and you should come with me. I'm lonely for friends!!!

I hope your weekend was a great success.

Arguing is good for you.

Josh and I were just arguing. It's all his fault.

Okay, seriously, though, don't you think that asking if something is wrong and asking if something should be illegal are two different questions? Josh took a political alignment quiz for his poli sci class, and told me I should take it, too, for fun. I told him that I would but that so far no two political quizzes have given me the same answer.

We both took the quiz. Then, I took a different one. As expected, it gave me a totally different answer. Me explanation is that, above all, I am a Words Person. So, the wording of a question is completely relevant to me, while to Josh, it's the spirit of the thing. However, I refuse to believe that one can accurately guess the spirit of a question. If you can't be sure that is what is meant, how do you know that you aren't aligning yourself with the wrong "spirit"? And to me, a question that asks me to agree or disagree with whether something should be "allowed" or not has failed to be specific. Are they asking whether society should allow it? Are they asking whether the CEO should allow it? Are they asking whether the state or national government should allow it? There are quite a few things which I am convinced are dead wrong that I would never dream of allowing the government to have an opinion about, legally speaking. In Rosemaryland, "Do you approve?" and "Should it be illegal?" are NOT the same question. These quizzes aren't really helping me make any deep personal discoveries, ya' know?

You know what else irks me? Quizzes where they ask you for the answer and then tell it back to you. Confused? Here is an example: Do you consider yourself more introverted or extroverted? Introverted? Okay, now do you prefer to create or to analyze? Create? Why, you are a Creative Introvert! No, no. Don't be shy (get it?), go ahead and express your surprise. You were surprised, right? Right?

I'm cold again. Well, I get cold easily. I wonder....is this something that everyone already has connected with low blood pressure? Because if it's common knowledge, I somehow missed it. I suppose it is connected, just like I suppose the Renaud's phenomenon is related, too. Frequently, I wonder if other physical tendencies are connected, too. Are there Types out there? Is this acid reflux/low blood pressure/Renaud's/insomnia/sensitive to head colds thing just one of the cookie cutter shapes? Jenn says that's called....Medical Profiling? Well, I'm curious about it.

I started writing my bi-annual letter to my dear old neighbors in Rolla. The Andersons. they were cute little grandparents when I arrived there, at the age of 4. They love their gardens, and have a few apple trees. Mrs. Anderson is my "Secret Friend". Oops! Don't tell. It's a "secret". I could cry at the difference between my reality and the person she thinks I am. The great mother, author, creative influence. The clever, worthwhile personality, the goodness. The devoted daughter, wife, American. If I ever achieve a pale shadow of her lovingly distorted view of me, it will be quite an accomplishment. They really are sweet people. Sweet and educated and delightful...and a little shy, actually. Well, I adore them, and am writing to them again. I'm not sure, though, that I won't have to put off sending the letter because of printer ink deficiency. I suspect we are low....

Abbie is playing with two of her mini tea sets. In a minute, I shall have to dump her into the bath tub. Last night she somehow dumped her applesauce on her eyebrow, hair, chin, arms, hands, table, pizza, and floor. Don't ask me how. Maybe she's learning to juggle? But as tonight is dance night, I plan to get her pretty scrubbed up.

I also need to find time to get groceries, plus Brother snacks. He'll be here Friday, I think.

By the way, I have a daffodill!

Time to get some stuff done. Happy Monday to you all!