Slightly Mad

First of all, the external:

Did you see the bit written by the ER worker who treats patients on government assistance who seem to have enough money for fancy phones and expensive shoes and the like? Funnily enough, that was about a day after I was telling a friend what I think the government should do when people apply for welfare.

I decided that it would be perfectly fair for the government to deny TV/Satellite reception to the address of those collecting welfare. After all, the citizens of the country are helping those in need, right? Not those who would like to entertain themselves. In fact, it really shouldn't be used for anything except rent, utilities of a very basic nature, and food. So this medicaid article was sort of like an echo of what I was already harping about.

Unemployment and welfare services are already part of the government, are they not? So perhaps they need to be refurbished. Instead of handing a check to a person or family, maybe they should be doing what those credit rehab companies do and have a file of the person or family's bills, and pay the appropriate ones and cancel service on the inappropriate ones. Then send a messenger with food supplies. It would mean hiring more people to implement the new, well controlled system. Hey, look! I just created government jobs!

But I've lost my enthusiasm for it, really. I'm just in a lousy mood. Now that I'm not sick anymore, I'm hyper sensitive. Everything is worrying and upsetting me. But I'm going to avoid talking about that.

Here is an ode to my dog:

Jake is the best dog I've ever owned, and maybe the best I've ever seen. Although, in terms of obedience, he might lose that race. He knows what I want, but half the time tries to not do it. Jake is best in personality. He loves kids and company, doesn't bark frantically or jump (well, he does occasionally put his feet on guests briefly) or wet himself with excitement. He is friendly with other animals, too. At first, I was upset because he chased cats, occasionally. But then he finally caught up with one, and come to find out, he just wanted to introduce himself. He doesn't bother our things, and only begs for food unobtrusively. Mostly, Jake just wants to be where we are. It's so lovable. And he is a connoisseur of comfort. He loves blankets and pillows, and we've even caught him tenderly laying his head on discarded dirty socks. He is entirely charming. And how could I not loves something that is so devoted to my children?

Abbie has had an injury. On Sunday, Grant asked Josh if he and Abbie could go downstairs. He told Grant to ask me. I had to find all this out later, because instead of asking me, Grant and Abbie went downstairs. Whether he misunderstood or was disobeying I'll never know, because the action was eclipsed by the following one. That was Abbie climbing on top of the play stove (she knows better) and falling from it. Because I was upstairs, I didn't see the fall. That has been the most upsetting part, because it has been so difficult finding out what happened, what was injured, what was it hit against, etc. Grant could only tell me she climbed on the stove and fell, and Abbie could only cry. I finally discovered that it was her arm that was hurt. Eventually, she was able to point, and it upset me even more that I could see an obvious swelling, but that Abbie was pointing to a place an inch away from it. Well, what can one do? I gave her meltaway Tylenol and had her hold a juice box from the refrigerator on it.

She claimed it was fine the next day, but I suspect that was because she didn't want to miss her first dance lesson. She spent the first part of the day carrying it, and the second part eating and drawing with her left hand. By yesterday I could still see the swollen area, but it looked better, and she could almost extend her arm completely. It's taking a long time, but seems to be healing. I'm still keeping an eye on it. At least she's using it normally.

Grant has had no recent injuries, I'm pleased to say. He's been doing well at school, especially in his behavior, and he still loves it and thinks it is wonderful. They have studied the letters M and A and now are studying P. On Tuesday it was his day to bring snacks. He picked Phinneas and Ferb gummy snacks, and thought he was the coolest guy in town.

Josh experienced his first mid-week days off this week. They are Tuesday night and Wednesday night. It was very disruptive. I'm not sure if I can get used to it, or if that would be a good and helpful thing.

Yes, everything is upsetting me. I'm trying to work on it. But Abbie's arm might have a real injury, the kind that needs (or ought to have had) medical attention, we suddenly have a ton of bills, I have to call about Grant's school pictures because there was an error at the bank and the check didn't clear, Josh agreed to more overtime TOMORROW, when he knows I won't be here to watch the kids, my parents have company and it's some relatives that I am particularly fond of, but I just don't know how the hell to work in a visit, people keep trying to make plans with me and I don't have the ability to answer, Josh cancelling my plans in favor of his is driving me crazy, this computer was supposed to be mine, but Josh won't leave it alone and stop downloading random stuff on it, plus it's been making funny noises, I'm supposed to pass out fliers tomorrow from 8-3, I suck at the song we're learning in taiko and so far have only succeeded in embarrassing myself, I'm behind in the birthday present buying for Josh's family and the neighbors, I just found out I want to do all my grocery shopping at Dierbergs, but can't afford it, I'm behind on my chores, I haven't had two seconds together to watch the movie my grandmother lent me, Josh bought a tent and two sleeping bags and a can of mace for me to carry to the commuter lot at UMSL, and I just can't get him to stop spending, and everyone I know is looking for a job (except me) and my mother got TWO of them, and I just don't know what I'm going to do.

I think I need a cheesecake. With strawberries. And some baked potato soup from St. Louis Bread Co. And a nap. And a hug. And a day off.

While we're wishing, could I also get a housekeeper and a winning lottery ticket? I'm not greedy, just 500 thousand dollars or so would be fine.

It's Friday, for those of you to whom that means something. Hope you enjoy it.