The Mulberry Bush

Here we go again.

News. Or not, depending on how you define "news". Here goes: Josh will not be hired by the St. Louis County Police and sent to police academy for the June session. They have led us to believe that he might still under some sort of consideration for the future, but we can't really stay in limbo anymore. We are moving on. So far, the person who took this news the worst was my mother. She's really bummed. Really, though, nothing has changed. Josh still works at Lowes, and I still babysit when the lady calls me, which she hasn't lately. We still don't make enough to cover expenses, and my cash horde is still there (although possibly not for long).

It's raining again.

I ended up going on Sunday to Rolla, and did end up seeing Steve. First, though, I spent the afternoon locked out of my car. I know. I haven't done that in years. It was raining then, too, and the sensus guy came to talk to me as I was putting the suitcases in the car. He asked if the house across from me was vacant. Yes. He asked if it had been vacant on April 1st. Yet. Could I sign this document stating that? Yes. (Set keys and bags down.)

At this point, I was fine. But then I closed the trunk. Doh. Sensus guy ran off without making sure I could even get back in the house. Eventually, Heather saved me by getting Josh's key at Lowes and dropping it off as she and Jay were on their way to his mom's house.

Met Steve for dessert, since by that time I had missed dinner. We talked at Steak N Shake. Abbie kept me awake all night at Mom's. I was sleeping so lightly that I woke up every time she twitched. We spent the day with Mom, and for a long time I wasn't sure if I was staying an extra night, but eventually decided to come back home. It was sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Staying overnight would inconvenience my mother, who needed to leave early in the morning, and leaving would dissappoint my father, who had wanted to have dinner with me. It was a mess. To top that off, Josh had made plans to go out, but cancelled them when he found out we were coming home, and then I fell asleep almost immedeately once I was off the roads. The whole thing left me feeling uncomfortable. Damned, if you will. (Or if you won't.)

I made cupcakes today.

Josh's uncle is still dealing with the grandmother situation. She was to come home from the nursing home on Tuesday, and Josh was going to help with that. He did end up spending the day there, but Grandma did not actually move back home. We also spent Josh's other day off with them, as well. This time, Josh had to take the car in to be worked on, while the kids and I had a truly unexpected day with Uncle Jim. We went to the art museum, which was great, but he sort of breezed through it. It was kind of a tease, but we did see the suits of armor and the mummies. Then the kids ran down the hill a few dozen times, and then we all walked around the fountains and back up the hill to the car. Then, Uncle Jim took us for a nice, vegetarian lunch....at the Hare Krishna temple. Govinda, anyone? The soup was amazing. The kids also ran around in the upper apartment at Grandpa's house....which I guess is Grandma's house now. I fully expected them to sleep on the drive home, but they didn't. So, when they went to bed, Josh and I watched Iron Man. I hadn't seen it yet.

I talked to my mother about this along time ago in the context of schoolteachers. This is a serious paraphrase, but still the same idea: If all the teachers enforce the rules, you have two sides: good and bad (or right and wrong, lawful and unlawful, etc.). However, lets say that some teachers allow rules to be bent or broken. Then what do you have? You have Nice and Mean. Now, strangely, all students are just students and it is taken for granted that they will break rules, but the teachers who permit it are Nice, and the ones who enforce the rules are Mean. This was pretty much the sum of decades worth of observation on the part of several people (more than 3, less than 10), some of whom were teachers, and all of whom had been students at some point. I can't tell you who the other participants in the discussion were, since she never actually listed them. For my part, I look at the example and not only do I remember it's truth in the school I attended, but also propose to apply it universally to rule enforcers nationwide at the very least.

You know...I'm pretty open minded. But I'm also very rigid. I am not constantly ready to change my perspective. I consider the perspectives of others, but I am famous for saying that the only person who will change my mind is me. (Therefore I try to consider every issue from multiple angles.) If you give me information, I will consider it objectively. Well, unless it was not presented objectively. I don't enjoy slanted arguments. Besides being insults to my intelligence (so obvious), they are attempts at manipulation. I don't dig it. And I kinda like rules. Or, rather, I like the idea that there are agreed upon things that we shouldn't do. But then we go and do them, suffer sporadic consequences, and that's where it all loses its point.

My RPG alignment would be lawful good. Don't you think? ^_^

So, back to the school rules: The first thing, obviously, would be to make the right rules. Therin lies the great challenge. But once the rules are made, everyone must follow, or the rule loses it's riotousness, and just becomes an indication of who is the "nice" one and who is not. Now to America: FOLLOW THE RULES!!! If it's wrong to kill - don't do it. If it's wrong to steal - don't do it. Think you have extenuating circumstances? That's what pardons are for, my friends. We don't need to go through the Razzle Dazzle.

What good does, "Oh, they don't mean me," do for anyone?

Macrocosm - Microcosm......SWITCH!!

So, for instance, if you are the Daddy, and you let your kids be rude 3 or 4 times before correcting them, or let them run around during dinner, or let them dictate what the adults are going to do, critique a meal at someone's house, (all against the rules)...and the Mommy doesn't...are you drawing a line between good children and bad, or nice parents and mean parents?

The lawful good mommies get so tired of being the Mean one all the time. We spend so much energy trying to encourage Goodness. But....

Here we go again.

Tonight I am going to taiko. I will be dropping off the kids AND picking them up. Well, at least I'm not eating candy out of nervousness. I'm not much sure of what is to happen beyond tonight. It will work out, though.

I hope you are staying dry. You should write me and tell me how you are. I'm hanging in there. Things are not as bad as they could be. We're just going to take another turn around the mulberry bush, is all.