I am feeling good! I am not sick anymore. I had taiko practice and I am very sore, but I can't say that I'm unhappy about it. It was a pretty good practice. It took a bit for everything to come back to me, and I've only been missing from practice for a week. Imagine how it must be for those members who miss weeks of practice all the time! Speaking of members who have been absent, Debbie was back again last night!
I have been thinking in "Drive" all day. It's stuck in my head.
My kids have spent the last few days at my mom's house. They should be back in about an hour. I'm anxious to see them. I'm also a little bummed that I didn't get done anything that I wanted to while they were away. Well, that's not entirely true. I successfully got a copy of Abbie's birth certificate after one unsuccessful attempt in her babyhood, and lots of inaccurate advice. But that's pretty much it. Why? Well, Josh was home. So, I went with him on a couple of computer appointments. And on Monday - I took Josh to dinner! I was looking for my sunglasses last week and found an old gift card to a restaurant we don't usually go to (hence its still being unused).
Did I tell you about the weekend? Saturday was the Tartan days in old town St. Charles. Lots of great, a little of nightmare horror show. First off: I think I must be an "old town" kind of girl. I like cobblestones. I like brick sidewalks. I'm not so much a fan of overpriced trinkets that no one really should want, but you have to take the useless with the picturesque. The Shermans met us there. I really had fun at the parade, too. Lots of bagpipes. And they all played Scotland the Brave. Hee. And, pleasure of life, we had a picnic in perfect weather under a beautiful, huge tree. I love picnics.
And then. Then. Then. Abbie walked away. It was my turn to hold Grant's hand, and we were looking at fancy tartan cookie cutters. And out of the corner of my eye, I was watching a little girl in red. It was...the wrong girl. I'm sure someone alone in the middle of the ocean feels a similar desperate helplessness to what I felt standing mid-sidewalk, spinning my head over hundreds of people and dozens of acres, a river, a busy street. Too miserable to even burst into tears, I started asking anyone who would listen, "Have you seen a little girl? She's 4. Red dress, white shirt. Dark hair." I didn't even know which direction she had gone.
Josh found her with an older lady. I just stood in front of her, and said, "Where...did you go?"
"I was finding you."
I made her come with me and apologize to all the people I had bothered with the description, but it wasn't because I was angry. I wasn't angry. I don't know what I was. I didn't say anything to anyone at the time, but all my love for the day, the event, the picnic, the brick sidewalks - gone. I was numb and unhappy. And still scared. And still relieved.
Sunday wasn't what I thought, either. The plan: Josh goes to his late grandfather's place, picks up some things he was supposed to take with the help of his uncle, and then unloads them here, with the help of our friend, Johnny. In exchange, we told Johnny we'd cook dinner for him and his family. Later, we invited the Shermans, and some other friends, because...why not? And dearest Caroline was going through town, and I was happy to be able to ask her over as well.
It didn't go quite as expected. Josh ended up having to make two trips, not one. The Shermans arrived as I was getting a few last things from Wal-Mart. And the only one who didn't have dinner....was Johnny. He went home. But those of us who remained had a wonderful time. Well, at least I hope.
And I got those aprons to Caroline, which, I think, made us both happy.
Then, there was this time I had without the kids. Monday we went and picked up a computer to repair (and had dinner, and watched Serenity at home). Tuesday, we returned two of them, and killed time at the mall. We talked with Katie, which was fun, and had jasmine bubble tea. Also fun. And Katie gave me a mochi ice cream treat, and I just might have to try another kind next time I'm at the mall. It turned out that Michelle wasn't going to taiko, and therefore didn't need a ride, so I went by myself. It was nice.
Ivory white soap: 99 and 44/100% pure. I was referred to as Ivory White Soap this weekend. I don't think the reference was to my hygiene, or skin color. Possibly this could mean that I am no fun. I hope that is not the case. Do I strike you as close minded? Sadly, there are others among my collection of "friends" who disapprove of me. Ah, the irony.
Well, I suppose that I will be the same, still, only now I will probably worry about it. Because I am me. And you knew that would happen, didn't you? I guess there is something about me. Something that makes you think my homework would be worth copying, but that I'd say no if you asked. My homework was never worth copying, guys. Especially not in math.
Today, I am happy. And a wreck. I'm worried about a lot of things. I'm going to try to let the sunshine push them all from my mind.
Josh is unemployed still. He has a few days of random work. And he had a job interview yesterday and another tomorrow. Why can't the police just ask him on now? I really wish they would. Maybe they never will. That would be more like our luck. To desperately cling to a hope that never materializes - it is practically my specialty. However! I made 7 dollars taking a survey at the mall yesterday! GO, me! And I got called today about a babysitting job. It's been so long....I don't know how much money to ask for. How embarrassing. I will meet the mother and children on Friday, and babysit them on Monday.
But now I must go, to wait anxiously for my children to return home and safe. I wish all of you a very pleasant Wednesday.
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