Wanted: Shoe Elves

You see, although I really want to curl up in a blanket and sob for a few days screaming, "WHY ME?? I HATE MY LIFE!" It's not at all true. My life is wonderful. Almost. All I need is a visit from my fairy godmother. All I need is a little family of shoe elves to put everything right again while I'm sleeping peacefully.

Every year I think about how tough it's been, and Thank goodness it's going to get better soon. And then, without fail, it gets worse, and then I have to adapt myself to the new low.

What is this "it" that has been preventing me from relaxing and enjoying my nearly wonderful life? Money, of course.

I have two children. They are smart and charming and sometimes they are even good. I have very stubbornly insisted on doing things my own way. They stay with me, they don't have cable TV, they're not allowed to work the computer/DVD player/VCR controls by themselves, they are expected to use good manners... Now I leave them at my in-laws' place on Tuesdays and Thursdays with the profanity and the satellite TV. I feel like I'm breaking promises all over the place.

Yesterday, I called my dad. He's a pharmacist, you know. On Monday, I noticed, because it was hard not to, that Grant's left cheek was swollen. A lot. I called the dentist, hoping that they could tell me if that was maybe more Grant tooth weirdness, or if I needed to take him to the doctor. The office didn't call back until after 4, and they prescribed an antibiotic for him and said if it didn't work after a few days, to call back. Don't deal with a lot of mommies of sick kids, do they? So I looked on the Internet, and I called my dad. What could this be? Do you agree with the dentist? After Dad talked me off the ceiling with a, "If it works, then there is no reason to actually know which kind of infection it is, and this will probably take care of it. If not, you can take him in, which is what you would have done without the antibiotic anyway, right?"

Then, he asked about Josh. I told him what a rough time this is for Josh, and that I've been making him goodies, like little cups of cheesecake flavored pudding with chocolate syrup on top, but that I wish there was some way to really help. Bad idea. Dad's suggestion: get a job.

Hello, heartbreak.

Did I tell you about the last window replacing appointment I had at Josh's mom's? It was raining, and I had changed into my taiko practice clothes, just in case the guy came out at the end of the time window instead of the beginning. (He said between 1 and 3, and if he started at 3, I wouldn't have much time to go home and change before going right back to the same house to drop the kids off.) Repair Guy thanks me for coming out and letting him in, looks at my oh-so-cute sweats and says, "Sorry I had to drag you out in this rain today; it's such a great day to sit at home and do nothing." Sounds like my job description to me. I was too embarrassed to hint that maybe I had changed INTO those clothes, or that I did more than sit around. I just told him it was no trouble. Which wasn't even true. He was only trying to be nice, after all.

Anyway...I've written out checks for the bills, but Josh says I can't mail them yet. I've been using my own money for the apple picking, and dinner after and will be for the zoo this weekend and pretty much anything that isn't a bill, so how am I going to afford our Home Owner's Association fees? Or Christmas presents? Or Grant's real dentist appointment in November? Or anything he or any of us might need sooner than that?

So, if you don't mind, I'd just like to borrow some shoe elves. If they could just make the gas card bill disappear, and the house and car notes for the next two months, that would help so much! Or mow the lawn for Josh and replace the shower curtain rod and fix the broken pipe to the hose attachment or put the Explorer back in fully working order, and replace at least one of our broken DVD players...

I always thought I would be putting money aside for my children's college educations.

Grant's cheek is still huge. If it doesn't improve today, I'm calling the doctor in the morning. Might make a cake today. I haven't done anything in the way of using those apples. Yellow cake was on sale again for 88 cents, so I might cut some apples and roll them in cinnamon and sugar and bake them in a regular yellow cake. Maybe in the fancy bundt cake pan.