Shadows of Clouds

Today is drizzly.

The future is looking bleak, kids, even as my idea of how it should go becomes ever clearer in my mind.  But why despair?  It is so utterly out of my control.

Those of you who know me are giggling at this point.  NOT worry about something?  Especially when it is pointless and fruitless to do so?  Well, how about this:  I will worry about it silently, and amuse you with other discourse.

It is only at the end of this weekend that I have become melancholy.  It was actually quite fun.  On Friday we had a delicious dinner of chicken thighs, green beans drenched in butter, and four cheese "potatoes".  Then we played Munchkin.  Saturday morning saw some much needed and long past due housework, and then my parents came for the kids' first T-ball game of the year.  It was cold, but sunny, and we were chilly, but not too uncomfortable.  The game was cute.  We lost, but with our terrible coaches, I'm not surprised.  The other team seemed to actually know something about baseball.  Much fun was had by my parents, and after the game, we made our way to Carson's Ice Cream for a healthy dose of sugar before returning to my house.  Mom and I split our time between talking inside and watching everyone else in the back yard playing frisbee or more T-ball.  I was pretty badly sunburned, despite having used sunscreen.  At least it worked on the children.  After my parents began their trip back home, we freshened up and left for St. Peters.  First, we had dinner at a sushi place we know of.  The kids shared fried rice and a roll of tuna and avocado.  Josh and I had several rolls.  When we were finished, we went over to the mall and attended the last tea tasting of our dear friends' shop, which will close next week.  So happy to see everyone, so sad the shop is closing.

Ah, well.

Josh went to a job fair last Thursday.  He got two interview requests, just on Saturday.  I didn't know people did that on Saturdays.  I, of course, am hoping it is a sign that there are more to follow.  Especially as the interviews so far are not particularly enticing.  I'm tired of crossing my fingers, though.  I'm trying my best to ignore the whole thing.  In the meantime, he might try for a Lead position on 3rd shift.  I hope it does wonderful things for his resume, because it promises quite an upheaval for family harmony.  Try explaining to kids on summer vacation that they have to be quiet all day because Daddy is sleeping.

As for myself....I have not received any calls to interviews.  My contract ends in May with Citi, and I'm thinking if that is the case, then I might just as well stay home for the summer.  I don't have any arrangements for child care in place, and I don't really think my paycheck could afford that, plus the substantial gas expense of my commute.  I have every intention of asking on Monday whether I have a future in the company.  Plans must be made, and I see no reason for the inconsiderate lack of communication.  I suppose Jerry is the person to ask, and my temp agency.  They are going to be asked.  I can't be in limbo anymore.

Work gets more and more stress free, but more and more dismal.  I don't feel judged by my neighbors anymore, but I am also not going to be the only experienced prepper of corr now.  And the people I enjoy keep leaving.  Emilee quit, Teresa moved...and it keeps going.  Now Sravanil and Krista are gone..it's not really going to be the same.  Plus, no permanent offer is forthcoming.

It's just before 2, and the sun is about to come out for the first time today.

I finally finished my most recent book, The Meaning of Night, by Michael Cox.  To be honest, the whole experience was not what I usually look for in a book.  The writing was sophisticated, yes, but the main character was only intermittently righteous, practically never admirable, and usually unpleasant in some way.  The setting was often in beautiful places, but had an undercurrent of bleakness.  It was fascinating, and was somewhat redeemed at the end, though.  I guess I'm glad I read it, but would only recommend it sparingly, and to the right individual, none of whom come to mind.  I don't know whether to revisit a little of Sherlock Holmes next, or to press on to The Night Circus.

Don't know what to expect from this week.  The weather will be chilly and wet.  Maybe I'll drink tea.  Josh has interviews on Monday and Wednesday, and with luck I will have a clearer picture of what I should expect of my own employment for the summer.  I should plan some cooking....  I believe I have a taiko performance on Thursday.  I guess that's enough to go on. 

Probably, I'm just low on sleep.  Maybe I'll try to take a nap.

Hope you are all well.