Intent

I really think I just heard the sound of someone throwing up in his/her back yard. And while I've got plenty more than my a share of morbid curiosity, I am not ready for eye contact with someone who knows I just caught him/her throwing up in the back yard. Care for a snack, anyone?

This week caused me a bit of strain. The weather on Thursday was ridiculous. Sleet, then accumulating snow, then more sleet, then rain. The rain started while I was waiting for Grant at the bus stop. I am medium sure that my lips turned blue. The bus was late, of course, due to the weather, and the walk home was like wading through spilt snow cone. The rain started to freeze as I got ready for taiko. I silently cursed the clouds for doing this to me, not just on a Thursday, but on a Performance Practice Thursday. I crossed my fingers and drove carefully to my in-laws' house with the kids.

I wasn't "on my game" at practice. That's disturbing. But I always say that as long as you aren't unprepared for it or have a real problem with nerves, a performance will probably be at about your recent average. Sometimes, I get a little extra from "opening night" sensation, but I don't ever count on it. So, considering that, I should do much better tomorrow. I do wish, though, that we could re-introduce stretching to our routine. I didn't get left out so much when we had it at the beginning.

Going home was exciting, and not in a good way. The interstates were beginning to be cleared, which was good, but on and off ramps were not great, and my in-laws' neighborhood was down right frightening. The dog barked when I went in, too, so I knew I was in for it. I collected everyone and made my way SLOWLY down W (which had FOG on top of everything else) to 70. 70 was much better, but when I got off at Warrenton, 47 was not at all cleared. In fact, there was someone off the road and I had to wait while he was pulled out of the ditch. Josh called to ask why I hadn't called, and I told him that it was because I wasn't home yet. I also told him that 47 wasn't cleared.

After we were safely home, I decided that sleep was the thing. Until Josh called to say he was in a ditch. On 47. Told ya' so. He and the car made it home eventually.

Friday - yesterday - I talked to my dad. He had offered to take the kids to see me play on Sunday, so I figured I'd better get real plans laid. I knew it was a bad sign when he said, "Yeah, what time do we need to get there? 2:30?"

"Uh...no, our performance starts at 1:45."

"Oh. That might be a problem." Come to find out, he is driving a friend and his wife, and they have to stay late after church to lock up. I dismissed it and said it wasn't a big deal, and that I was doing something on nearly every song, even if he missed the beginning. But he's a man, and didn't realize that he was leaving me with 48 hour notice to find a babysitter - or what that means. I don't plan to mention it to him, so neither should you. I asked a few people if they could help out, but no takers. When Josh got up, he called his family, who said they weren't going to come home early for my sake. (See? I knew I would catch it for the dog barking!) But he got a yes from a sister, even though I'm not sure she likes kids, and am VERY sure she doesn't know what to do with them. But Josh made the arrangements, and it's a done deal.

I just can't catch a break with this, you know? When something nice happens, someone makes me feel guilty about it, but mostly nice things just don't happen. I can't wait to have my own job and my own money and I can pick someone and pay her to watch my kids. All business. No guilt. Well, that's assuming I can get a job.

Do you think people gain a new understanding of your personality when they see your house/room/personal space? I do. In this frame of mind, I looked around today. It made me crestfallen. I think I probably rate a "Something's very wrong here" at worst and a "How pathetic" at best. But if you could see how I wish my house looked.... or does that defeat the purpose? Anyway, I don't have a particular style. Or, rather, I've never found a word for it. Eclectic usually implies something more visually interesting. Not that I don't have interesting things....personally, I love them! Like my Italian mermaid bookends. Pardon - my one surviving Italian mermaid bookend. She is pretending to be made out of marble, but it's just a cast. Seated sans clothing on the curved back of an extremely vacant-looking dolphin like a Lay-Z-Boy, my "tart mermaid" brazenly mouths a permanent kiss at us. How can you not be amused by that?? And she is a mere two feet from my relief of St. Cecilia. Never promised to be consistent.

I was meant to clean the whole house today, but I could tell when I got up that it wasn't to be. Besides, my inner teenager sulked, if Dad's not going to come by the house, then there's no reason, right? Well, except that I like it clean.

I do much better when the weather is nice.

I finished Night Watch ages ago, and 2/3 through The Big Over Easy. It (Over Easy) isn't as hilarious as I was hoping. The whole story is meant to be "told with a straight face". Perhaps I'm not in the mood for it, but it barely got a wry smile from me.

Did I ever mention that loyalty is a very important quality to me? Perhaps I didn't. I spent half the book disliking a character because she wasn't especially loyal. I have no time to waste on those who are disloyal. Disloyalty repulses me. And, yes, I still argue with my books.

Josh has had LOTS of overtime. Yesterday he worked 12 hours. Today is normal, and then he has to work from 11-7 on his day off. Even that one we're bowing and scraping and saying, "Thank you, thank you!" for because they arranged it between two regular shifts so he'll be home before bed-time. More to come, as well. Trying to look on the bright side, which is the money aspect, but it isn't really cheering me up any. Plus, Josh's Uncle Jim wants Josh to come and grandma-sit on his next available "weekend", so that means I will have to miss a practice. I specially requested NOT this coming Tuesday, since we are both moving and having a meeting.

I was wrong about Gran's birthday present. She got it at breakfast. When I called her, she made me drool with stories of freshly picked strawberries bought at stands and such. Beautiful scenery, delicious food. Who's jealous?

Josh actually said I could make corned beef and cabbage for St. Pat's day! I may also attempt an Irish dried fruit cake called Barmbrack, but it depends on how much the beef costs. Will you be doing anything festive?

Me: Grant, do we throw things in the living room?
Grant: No.
Me: Then, why did you just throw that?
Grant: Well, I didn't see you there.

*sigh*

I hope you are having a great weekend! Tomorrow is the show. Can't wait! I'm exhausted with telling everyone about it. Come on down if you are nearby.