Money and Altruism

Bullwinkle time.

I am thawing out some kielbasa. I don't know if I should chop it up and add it to ramen or scrambled eggs. And I kinda want to make a pudding pie. It is Friday, you know. For lunch, I had leftover spaghetti, and I smothered it in all the different cheeses I had. It was better than I expected.

Last night I went out, and I sang the same old song I used to sing. Helena came, too, and it was fun. That was the good part. The bad part was all the fighting that Josh and I did before I left for practice, and on the way home. I hope we get it all out soon. This is pretty much no fun.

I can't decide it I feel like making tea.

My daughter's hair is long. Josh thinks I should have it cut. What do you think? Do you think girl children should keep their hair until they're old enough to pick a new hair style?

I might have to give up on my plans to win the lottery. So far it's not working out as I'd planned. But it is hard to accept that I'll never have anything I want. I was okay with being a poor college student. I was fine with being a poor newlywed. But now I'm in my 30's, and not only am I still broke, it's getting worse and worse. I have no health insurance, and I just surrendered my entire emergency fund to Josh because he couldn't afford to pay the sales tax on the new car. And my personal money I used taking my family to the Renaissance Faire. We had to cancel going on our family vacation this month. I only feel guilty that I already got a trip to Colorado and Josh didn't. I think Josh even had to sell our old stock. How long can we possibly do this? Well, in two years I'll find a job, and some things will change. But that doesn't mean that we'll have more money. Gas for the commute, work clothes, lunches....

Grant is sitting by me. He's being nice today. Abbie is being reasonably nice today, too. Well, she's still got the hitting problem.

You know, when I was in college, I decided one day that I was going to go up to strangers and say the nice things I was thinking. "That's a beautiful shirt you're wearing," "You know, you have very graceful hands," "I saw you hold the door for that girl, and even though she didn't thank you or anything, I thought it was nice of you." You know...stuff like that. In fact, I decided this many times, but never so much as admired someone's hat...out loud. Too many ways it could turn on me. If I said something nice to a guy, would he think I was flirting with him? Or worse, would a woman think that? But really all I wanted to do is balance out all the negative things that get said. And anytime the sun was shining and the wind blowing, I was convinced that it was my day to begin, but my natural timidity held me back. But why DO we only say mean things an never nice ones? I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that no one knows how to take a compliment these days (me included).

Well, since I won't be winning the lottery, I guess I won't be teaching anyone how in my little manners school.

My mother plans to take the kids overnight sometime next week. That always makes me uncomfortable. Not that I think she's going to do something I don't approve of. She asks about pretty much everything, unlike their other grandparents. I just don't like being so far away from them. It's not like if they had bad dreams at night and wanted to come home at 11:30 I could just run over and get them. And if they're bad and I'm not around to handle it....what will happen? Anyway, usually we go out when the kids are gone, but it will be the middle of the week (not to mention that I'm fresh out of cash...I had to buy my own drinks last night). I think we'll just sit around and watch rated R movies. If any of you would like to join me, you are, of course, invited. I think it will be Wednesday and Thursday.

Well...I hope you are having a good day! Happy Friday! The weather is wonderful. Oh, and you should go say something nice to someone today, for my sake.