Pardon my outburst...

HOW?  How do they all do it???  How do my friends and neighbors afford their lives?  Private schools!  Clothes for their kids!  Clothes for themselves!!  Child care!  Vacations!

Why is it that I have to get a better job just so we can move out of this school district!?  And why is that so impossible to do?! 

My kids wear hand me downs.  They don't have video games or phones or ipads or expensive toys.  We are guests on almost all of our vacations.  I haven't replaced my old, nearly dead shoes.  We haven't bought a stick of furniture!  Even our TV was a gift.  How is it possible that we have so much NOTHING?!

PLEASE someone hire me. 

All I want for Christmas is to be able to afford to move away from this school district.

No.  All I want for Christmas is for my children to be happy at school.

No.  All I want for Christmas is a school that will actually help them be the best they can be.

No.  All I want for Christmas is to have a real job, where people appreciate me and I feel like I've done something helpful.

No.  All I want for Christmas is to be with my kids more.

No.  All I want for Christmas is to never have to work weekends again.

No.  All I want for Christmas is to make enough money to fix all our financial worries.

No.  All I want is an impressive, flattering, yet not misleading resume.

You know what?  On second thought.  I just want to skip Christmas.  It is designed to be disappointing.


I'm not stressing out.  I'm not stressing out.  I'm not stressing out.

And Thanksgiving is TWO DAYS AWAY, and I don't even know what I'm going to bring.  Mom says the fruit salad.....maybe that is what I'll do.....

Ok.  And now to apply for another job. 

*SOB*

Cleaning on My Day Off

Hi.  It's my day off, and I've been cleaning.  Josh made an appointment for a realty person to come over this morning.  I really don't know the details, but I'm hoping that this will turn out to have been a good idea.

The house, by the way, is still not fit to be seen, but is less dusty and has pretty smelling candles lit.

So!  Have you heard of Quinn Sullivan?  No?  That's crazy!  He is a blues guitar prodigy, and plays frequently (at the age of 14) with Buddy Guy.  He can also sing, himself.  this is one of my favorites of his for the playing, singing, and cute message in song choice:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEsSU7I0Zps

Grant and Abbie are really enjoying their new music lessons.  Great stuff!  Plus, I asked at work, and will be able to be present for their first ever recital on December 14.  They don't have performance clothes yet.  I was at the mall yesterday, but we spent the time playing with new friends and off-loading some of Mommy's ridiculous stress.

I also had a very, VERY disappointing bubble tea.  My own fault.  I should have ordered milk tea instead of slushy.  I keep wanting to get what I could have at Miss Kat's shop.  No one else does it that way.

I'm reading Death Comes to Pemberley.  My grandmother was interested, and I recently found a used copy for sale.  I don't think I'll get done before Thursday, which is the next time I see her, but I will at least be able to give her a little idea of what it is like.

Had stress nightmares last night.  Meh.  The upside is that I'm kinda glad to be awake!

We are out of so any grocery items, but shopped at Sam's Club on Saturday evening, so we forgot.  Must go to the regular grocery store this afternoon, if possible.  Very sad to find out that you have enough Kleenex to last months, but no bread.  Two giant bottles of Olive Garden salad dressing...and no lettuce to put it on. 

Off to research shipping again.  No progress there, sadly.

Happy Monday.

Progress!

That's right, folks.  We totally watched that bluray.

I also had to swallow my pride and ask someone else to write the taiko newsletter this month.  I feel TERRIBLE about it.  I NEVER say I'm going to do something and then not get it done.

With those two things out of the way, life looks....Hmm....well, the same, actually.  Still lots to get done, and I'm still working on all of it.

It's no secret that I'm stressed out this month.  I've progressed from slathering my bagel with Nutella to getting a spoon.  But!  Things are about to get better, I think.  I'm getting comfortable with the present, and focusing on the future.

The Holidays.

Great.

*weep!*

Crazy windy weather out there!!  I saw an exit sign down on 70 today, and all sorts of my neighbors' belongings are going past my house right now!

11-12-13

Taking a break, because I have to.  Just not making any sort of progress. 

I have so many important things to work on today.  I am writing the taiko newsletter for November, doing research on how to ship the Oodaiko to Kato Taiko for re-heading, continuing some personal research that I spent all day yesterday on, and somehow updating and perfecting my abysmal resume.

I can't sell myself.  I need to borrow a BS artist.  I just plain can't do it.  Which is terrible, because it's a document that is supposed to be dripping with Can-Do confidence.  So frustrating!  Want to cry.

And I am alone.  I don't feel comfortable telling anyone what is going on.  Not even my mom.  Tried to talk to Josh, and halfway through my pouring my wounded heart out at him, he straightened the blanket on the bed and left the room.  Apparently he translated my stunned silence as the end of the conversation.

The kids were so excited about snow, but all I ever saw was thick frost.  It is cold today.  Maybe I should give up and go back to bed under my electric blanket.  It is my day off, after all.

*Moan*  I have to work in the morning.

BUT!  Today has a funny date, and that helps.

Took the dogs to the vet yesterday.  They are both in excellent health.  They both had weight problems last year, but were both complimented on excellent weight this year.  At least there is something I can do right.  Jake really is getting old, though.  I know he is in great health, but I think 5 years might be an ambitious expectation of life.  Not sure that Callie will be okay with being an "only dog".  Guess we still have several years before we have to worry about it.

Josh was trying to explain that we would need to do some complicated kid switching this evening, but I'm not sure if I need to go to taiko that badly.  If he has to work late, I'll just stay home.

We still have a Netflix Bluray that we haven't watched.  Hmm.  I wonder if my day wouldn't be better spent doing that? 

Oh, okay.  Back to work.



Okay, we've all seen this, but I didn't want to lose it.  ^_^  Go, BAND!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxhWyaD_SUQ

On my way out the door...

So, who wants to get this for me for Christmas?
http://en.bentoandco.com/collections/traditional-design-boxes/products/owan-sakura

I would fill it with this:  http://justbento.com/handbook/recipe-collection-mains/chicken-nanban-2-ways

http://justbento.com/handbook/recipe-collection-sides/cucumber-and-nashi-asian-pear-marinated-salad

I have my windows open today.

In a few minutes, Josh and the kids are running off to a birthday party, and I am going to get ready for my performance in Camdenton, MO.  I'm extra excited - some of my family might be in the audience.

Been working.  Thursday wasn't great.  Every report I printed didn't check, so I had to make corrections and print again....except the last one at the end of the day, which was a relief.  I fixed everything before I filed it, but it was just a long day, and not encouraging.  It doesn't help that the other person who does my job is in high school.  Not exactly an ego boost.  However, on Friday everything I reported was perfect, as far as I was concerned.  I mean, there were errors, but they all ended up being someone else's math errors.  Next to everything being perfect, I like other people's errors best. 

I'm not going to go into it, but I have been talking to the school about Grant a lot.  I went through a period of near hysteria this morning, but decided that I am going to just do some research, and get through this.  He is still young, and we can work on this.

Sorry if that was cryptic, but I'm not comfortable with the subject yet.

Although the kids technically started their new music lessons, Grant's teacher was sick, so he didn't have a lesson yet.  Abbie's teacher is very clean and refined and so far has touched on stuff we'd never known were basic things, so I'm already pleased for the change.

ONWARD.

And if anyone can find a way to get us into a new house in O'Fallon, MO and/or a private school, let me know.  Not that I'm worrying about it.  (HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!)

SQUEE!

Hi!  I'm so excited! 

First of all, it's my day off.  WOOOO!!!!

Second of all, my friend Danny ran 100 miles.  Yep.  I totally know him.  He's my friend.  Danny is so full of awesome.  He's the best.

And speaking of BEST and AWESOME, Darci is looking beautiful, even without hair.  I need to win the lottery and sneak off to have lunch with her.  Wouldn't that be fun?  I started re-reading The Big Over-Easy and thought of her.  I think she would like Jasper Fforde, so I recommended it to her, but I'm nervous that maybe I did that once before already...?

Jasper Fforde is one of a very short list of my favorite living authors.

Another reason for being excited that involves awesome:  I am going to this show!  YAY!  It's all but settled.  I shall have my tickets before the weekend, with luck. 

And!  My dear friend Miss Jenn texted me this morning to say that her company wants my resume!!!  I'm nervous.  It's in the city.  The hours are unlikely to be what I want.  I'm going to try for it anyway, though.  Time to work up a brilliant cover letter.  She's going to bring me a copy of the position description tonight.

Taiko meeting postponed - tonight is practice!  RAWR!

I ate a bagel in bed with the electric blanket and a movie on, while it rained outside.  Perfect Day Off-ness.

I wrote daily goals and put them in the kids' folders.  Lets see if reminders do any good.

Our neighbor brought over a book about bento lunches the other day and let me browse.  I think it's worth a shot, but Josh didn't seem too interested.  The kids both love white rice, though.  What's wrong with that and some faux crab instead of peanut butter and jelly, I ask you?


Off to do more Day Off stuff.....like laundry.

Hugs to you!
 

November 1st

It is All Saints' Day!  All Hallows Day!  It is now November!

How is yours so far?  Mine isn't too great.  In fact, if today is any indication of how November is going to go, I think I need to stock up on Angry Orchard and Nutella.

Just kidding.  I'm not the escaping type.

But I'm not kidding about today.  I've already had a call from the Principal's Office because my children were fighting.  I call it a symptom of Halloween Candy Hangover, but it doesn't change anything just because I gave it a name. 

Also, the button broke off my khaki pants last night, so they are out of commission until the right thread can be located. 

But November has great cooking possibilities, so I look forward to that.

Yesterday was brutal at work.  I did lots of learning the hard way.  I was learning to enter employee time, print reports, and double check the total hours.  What did I do wrong the most often?  Write the date wrong.  Fail!  Once I wrote that it was December.  Once I wrote that it was 2012.  You get the idea.  Humiliating.

By the way, I asked for today off when they hired me, and got it, thinking that there was no school.  Whoops!  Random day off!!  I don't feel guilty (much) since it was part of my hire agreement.

No one in my office brought candy.  No one wore costumes or sweatshirts with bats or witches.  It was just a normal day.  I wore fancy socks, but didn't tell anyone.

Tomorrow will be my first Saturday at work.  Sunday is a performance practice.  My real day off is Monday.

Did I tell you?  I woke up yesterday and the world was orange!  Overnight the local trees changed to such an appropriately Halloween-y color.  I was very pleased, even though the day was a rainy one.  The colors might not be brilliant this year, but they are everywhere, and nearly all of the leaves haven't fallen.  The effect is lovely.

Tonight is leftover night.

Wishing you a pleasant All Saints' Day, and a happy Friday!